(NC) With all the relationship talk that’s inevitable around Valentine’s Day, many of us begin reflecting on our own partnerships and how we can make them stronger and more rewarding. If you’re looking for a Valentine’s gift that will keep on giving throughout the year, here are a few tips to help you be a better partner to your favourite person.
Take charge of your health
It can be easy to neglect your health, but if adjusting your lifestyle only for yourself doesn’t seem like enough, then consider how much of a difference things like exercising more often, eating a more balanced diet, talking to a therapist or finally quitting smoking could make for your family. By making small incremental changes to take better care of yourself, you can improve your mood and you’re giving your loved ones more time with you and fewer reasons to worry about you.
Ask how you can help
Simply asking your partner about how you can help them out can lift a weight off their shoulders and improve your communication. In many couples the mental load of managing a household – think keeping track of appointments, organizing activities, knowing when you’re running low on toilet paper – falls more on one person than the other. Asking how you can help might reveal more than you realize and help you work towards a more equitable partnership, relieving some of your partner’s mental load.
Support each other’s goals
If your partner is undertaking a big goal, be understanding and ask how you can support them. For instance, if they are quitting smoking, learn about nicotine addiction and withdrawal symptoms, and be sympathetic to their moods when they are trying to quit. You may offer to do something nice for them if they succeed with short- or long-term goals, but be sensitive to their wants and needs. If you also smoke, avoid doing so around your friend or family member who doesn’t smoke or who is quitting. Or you could take the same step with them and try quitting yourself.
Listen well with sensitivity
As you might know, listening can be harder than we think. Practise respecting what your partner is feeling and listen without judging or offering unsolicited advice. Don’t focus on blame or making them feel guilty if they slip up in some way – like smoking again when they were trying to quit. Be sensitive to where they’re at and encourage them to keep trying to reach their goal when they’re ready.
Be there for them
Ultimately, for a better relationship with your loved one, you have to be there for each other. Show them you believe in them and care for them, even though they aren’t perfect – and request the same from them.
If you’re helping someone quit smoking, you can also receive free advice and support by calling the toll-free Pan-Canadian Quitline at going online at gosmokefree.gc.ca/quit.
